Question about Kundalini and the ego

January 18th, 2008

My kundalini raised over a year ago and I have developed an extreme sensitivity to energy. I usually feel pressure in my head. Yesterday I tried a meditation technique in which I tried to go into a place of silence. I succeeded and stayed there for about ten minutes. During that time I felt no head pressure, but instead, a very thin, refined feeling. Eventually, I began to let thoughts return, and with them returned the head pressure, which feels like very uncomfortable bulges of mass going through my pituitary gland, crown, back of my skull, etc. What also arose was a feeling of general irritation and judgmentalism. I am just wondering if I am feeling the actual mass of thought, returning alpha brain waves, or what?
I am a student of a Course in Miracles, which states that thought and emotion is of the ego, which is itself a foreign invader. These experiences are raising all kinds of speculation about the nature of energy and whether it is of a divine nature or if it is egoic. I would appreciate your comments.
Majidah

Dear Majidah,
I’m very aware of the problems you describe, which are actually typical side-effects of Kundalini meditation. I mastered this technique a decade ago and have since abandoned it, after seeing too many problems in my students. Now I teach the method of the heart and the results are more profound, they happen faster, and are more reliable. We don’t lose people to illness and disassociation anymore.
The most worrisome symptoms you mention are:
1. Extreme sensitivity
2. general irritation and judgmentalism
3. the notion that your precious resources of thought and emotion are the products of a foreign invader.
I’m interested in helping people live in this world and fulfill the purpose of their lives. It is not helpful to become so sensitive that you would prefer to retire from the world, away from other people whose energy irritates you. Such a condition inhibits the natural quality of the heart that can recognize the divine in another, even in all others. If God can’t be found in the human heart, then God cannot be found at all.
It’s important to remember that we can tune ourselves in different ways. In one tuning, “gross” energy is irritating, in another tuning it is raw material that you can refine. You could be having a greater impact on the world than the world has on you — that’s the power of the heart.
I feel that making your ego an enemy is self-defeating (literally). It divides yourself into two parts, a good part and a bad part. This is a problem because but duality is not the nature of reality. You are one, whole being, and nothing useful can be learned by pitting one part of yourself against another.
The heart is integrative. It is the interface between the soul and the body, existing in both realms. The heart is the center of the auric body, the body of light, and the etheric body, the body of magnetic energy, as well as the physical and emotional bodies. Instead of trying to weaken your ego, you should be trying to strengthen your heart. Then your ego won’t bother you at all — it will serve your heart as a servant.
I would advise you to immediately stop all attempts to reach a state of transcendence, and instead aim for the cosmic state, where everything is a part of yourself and you are a part of all things, where the divine is present in the individual and the individual operates as an agent of the divine.

Seek happiness and good health. Avoid that which punishes your body or devalues any part of yourself. To find the divine, start by treating everyone as divine, and see how they respond. Try honoring your thoughts and emotions and see how beautifully they will express your self. Enjoy all emotions as a stream of divine energy coursing through your heart, body and mind.
There will be time later for experiencing silence. Now, there’s work to do! You have a purpose in this life, a contribution to make, a utopia to create. Fill your heart with love and see, feel and taste what an inheritance you’ve been given, for your mission in life. The whole of creation is counting on you to play your part in the symphony.
With love,
Puran

Entry Filed under: Spiritual health, Health, Meditation